fear

•Friday, 16 October, 2009 • 1 Comment

i’d like to think that we all have fears.  the most common are heights, various others, small spaces, big spaces, etc.  i’m good with those.  shove me in a box, place me in a field and throw me out of a plane and i’m good.  but try to touch my eye or get near it and i’ll run.  on this note i’ve decided that it’d be a great idea to get lasik or whatever that thing is with the lasers (say it like dr evil does).  well, yeah.  i hope you can see the conflicts.

today was appointment #1.  i arrive.  i tell nurse type awesome person, ‘i’m not so good with things touching my eyes.’  she says ok, but i know she doesn’t understand.  we take pictures of my eyes/corneas in various ways.  i’m good.  then we get to put in eye drops so we can measure my eyeball pressure.  less good.  i have trouble getting in the eye drops, but i get there.  then they try to put the thingies in my eyes.  straight up bad.  i mean think of a 2-year-old at a doctors with a temper tantrum.  i’m quiet and i try, but i freak when it gets near.  not the best idea.  we finally get all the measurements, but it took a good 20 minutes.  i go away with saline drops, instructions/orders to get better at this before my next appointment or the doc will kick me out.

so, i’ve spent most of the day trying to put in eye drops.  my peers have offered to put them in for me, my partner laughed at me, and my kids (i.e. all those i supervise) took the piss out of me and are planning on videotaping this on monday for future amusement.  let’s just say i could be a lot better at this.

now can you guess my plans for the weekend?  i’ll enjoy my eye drops and try to knit.  yeah.  i’m living the sweet life.

evil drops of doom

lessons

•Thursday, 15 October, 2009 • Leave a Comment

Lesson 1:

if you leave your driver’s side widow wide open in the rainy season you will find your seat soaked and standing water on the floor.

Lesson 2:

locking your door does nothing to change lesson 1.

Lesson 3:

there is no valid reason to spend anytime in Louisiana.

Lesson 4:

New Orleans is the only exception.

Lesson 5:

free gas = ridiculous trips on a whim.

Lesson 6:

if you don’t drink there is really _no_ reason to go to Louisiana.

Lesson 7:

if you live in a room with more than 30 people it is not ok to snooze your alarm from 0430 to 0630.

Lesson 8:

colds are no fun.

i like random graffiti (location here Spitalfields/White Chapel, London)

running

•Friday, 2 October, 2009 • 1 Comment

so um.  you may have not realized this but running is not my forté.

in fact i have so many issues when running that every day i do it (which is monday through friday) someone i don’t know makes sure to ask me if i’m all right or if i need medical attention.

this makes me enjoy running less than other people.

now most places don’t care if you can run, but for me it’s quite an important part of my life.  now i can run well enough to not be fired, but it’s still not the most pleasant of things.  now while i won’t be fired, i may be looked over for promotions or simply excluded from some things.  not really something i’d like.  i strive to be competent and proficient at my job and to have my work looked over simply because i have issues running makes me nervous when the people in charge are around me when i run.

so today we figured, five mile run, seems like a great idea.  we start.

my boss shows up next to me.  not great, but he’s heard me run before, and knows what’s going on. it’s ok.

then my boss’s boss shows up.  less good still, but not terrible.  he’s cool with my suck and plus he’s only with me for a couple hundred meters.  no worries i think.  he’s just checking up on me and well that’s that.

then i find both of them at the turn around point.  oh.  this is really not good.  they’re gonna single me out and tell me that they’re sorry i suck, but they’re gonna have to get rid of me.  damn.  and i was planning on going to the development session next week.

but no, they’re just around.  i think they’re tired and i’m a great excuse for not running fast.  ok.  big boss goes away and my boss stays with me for the rest of the run.  i got this.

_not so_

i get to the end of the five miles with my boss and i’m pushing myself because i try to stride out the last block.  so now i sound like i’m really gonna die.  less good and fun, but i’m used to it.

then who do i see but my boss’s boss and my boss’s boss’s boss.  the big man and the über big man and the über big man’s partner.  (my boss is the man and fortunately the gigantor big man wasn’t there) fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.  über big man’s all ready chewed me out once for sucking at running.  i’m so fired.

but no, they’re cheering me on.  and clap when i finish.  i want to melt and die.  i think big man was just covering his ass with the über big man because we’re all going to this development session next week.

not what i wanted to see, but i guess it’s working out.

(this is only equaled by the fact that a couple of weeks ago when i was running five miles the gigantor big man’s partner asked for my name and to make sure i wasn’t dying. i hate running)

Who sees this driving home from work?

kids say….

•Wednesday, 30 September, 2009 • 1 Comment

so last night we had a sort of get togheter with all the emoplyees and their families at cici’s.  after most of the fooding was compleated, the guy in charge got up and relayed some basic information so the families would have an okay idea of what we  were doing and what to expect in terms of hours logged at work by their spouses.  after he was done one of the wives came up and related this anecode to him.

while he was talking, her kid asked her who he was.  she told the kid, ‘that’s your dad’s boss.’ and the kid responded, ‘but he’s brown!’

she laughed and thought it was hilarious.  boss man thought it was pretty funny.  i think it’s pretty funny.  but the more i think about it the more concerned i get.  yes, kids say some pretty funny things, but where would he get the idea that ‘brown’ people shouldn’t be in charge?  the only answer i can get is that the kid get’s it from the parent.  so now i find the whole thing kinda wierd.  why would you relate that story if the basic views related in it are generally reflective of your own.  who knows.  i do know that this lady is a whole other issue.  so maybe that explains some of it.

excuse for being late heard at work: ‘my wife forgot her id card so i had to call my husband to get a ride.’

i finished this pillow a while back.  i figured it’d be more decorative than anything and i wasn’t sure how i’d like it, but in fact it’s the perfect size for sleeping with so that’s what it’s used for.  i gave it to the boy and he seems to like it (sleeps with it every night) so that worked out well.  there is a strange stain on it now too.  it’s all red-ish and such and wierd, but he won’t let me wash it.  i made it a slip cover so i could do just that, but no.  i guess that means i did good in choosing a project and materials, but it’s just gross now.

finished some mittens too.  need a friend around so i can get better pictures.  (it’s hard when you have two hands, two mittens, and one camera. something just doesn’t quite work out.


reminiscing

•Monday, 14 September, 2009 • Leave a Comment

so a while back.  oh say, in 2005 or so i left my life and job to move to a completely different place and to try and move my career there or start a new one.  well, that move was followed by another a few months later.  this time a foreign country.  now i had no job prospects whatsoever.  something about small town germany not really needing a theatre technician.  who knows.

so after many, many attempts to find work in the field i loved, i gave up and learned a new trade – framing.  now, i learned that framing included many things i loved.  i got to build things and use tools. (several of which were pneumatic even)  and they were sharp and i got stitches.  and i got to play with pretty things and make them beautiful.  i like art.  i enjoy looking at it, and critiquing it, and just generally producing it.

but then i moved again and i gave up again and i started a new job circa 2007.  now this job is vastly different from my previous ones.  and while i get to enjoy various places, meet people i would have met any other way, spend time outside, and learn other new skills; i still miss my old life.

i dream that i continued in theatre and i miss those i used to work with. i miss the rapport and the production of art.  the constant repetition.  i can watch the same show every night of the week and twice on some days and still enjoy it.  i enjoy having to repeat the same actions the exact same way every time. i enjoy the obsessiveness of it.  and the craziness.  making people onstage deal with the ridiculous things we did off stage.

now don’t get me wrong i like my life for the most part now a days, but every so often i think of what could have been.  i start looking at blogs and myspace and find those i knew from high school, college, and work.  and i want to contact them, but i don’t know where to start.  what do you say? “hi, i miss my old life and just long for things to be as they were years ago.  continue knowing everything about my life as i know everything about yours.”  i’m not so good at that.  i wonder what my friends (can i still call them that) think of my life now.  do they approve? do they still think of me?  am i still their friend?  and then i realize that i shouldn’t worry so much about this.  that i like what i’m doing now and that i chose to do so.  that i need to let go, but late at night i wonder and it’s hard.

call please.

i was bored. ok?

•Tuesday, 9 June, 2009 • 1 Comment

sorry i’ve been absent for a _long_ time.  but i’ve been doing things.

1. i got to house sit a lovely birdy, frankie.

look.

and then i house sat a dog.  violet.  she is good.  she doesn’t like children but does like car rides.  this is good.

then i got bored and did this:

tandem and less exciting than i thought.  maybe i’ll try doing it myself or halo next.

as always sorry about the huge random peroids of bordem.  i’ll work on it.

i like bagels.

•Sunday, 22 February, 2009 • 1 Comment

so…i failed a bit in the lots of posting, but i’m back so i don’t feel too bad.  work was way hectic these last couple of weeks, but it’s kinda over for now.  i’m moving to a new job early march so i’m sure the hectic feeling will be back then as i try to figure out what all i’m supposed to be doing.  because i rarely know in advance.

i did get the finishing bug so i finished a few more things.  like my fetching gloves.  kinda.  no pictures, because now that i knit the second one i can’t find the first.  i’ll work on that.

i also finished 2 pantas before christmas.  this is an awesome pattern. i think i saw it a year or so on craftster making the rounds under the wrong name.  panta.  but i found it again on ravelry and Drops design.  the real makers of this thing.  it’s a quick knit, looks great, and makes you feel good that you’ve actually accomplished something.  i made the gray one for me out of lion brand cashmere blend and when i went home for christmas my mom saw it and loved it so i made a blue one for her.  (blue’s her favourite colour) sorry about the junky picture of the second, but i took it as i was dashing off to give it to her.  terrible light and i didn’t check it before it was gone.

i did fall in love with the cashmere blend so i’m trying to decide what to make with the skein + that i have left of it.

finished my monkey socks.  nothing exciting though.  the pattern is ok. i’m definitely not in love with it like some other people, but it was easy to memorize.  it’s done so i’m glad. i’m sure some of my issues stem from the yarn i used.  trekking 131. the colours are terrible.  it’s black, wedgewood blue, white, lime green, and yellow.  there’s just one colour too many.  one colour needs to be taken out of the combination.  either the black, the blue or the green.  it’s just wrong looking.  and i kinda hate it still.  as you can see in the picture i didn’t bother to match up the colour repeats because they’re soooo long, but they managed to pretty well still.  if i just always hold my feet about an inch off they look great.  but as i said i don’t really care for this so meh.  i got the yarn because i really wanted to a. knit some socks and b. try some trekking.  the shop had a few colour ways and i know i didn’t like the brach’s colour way so i went with this.  wasn’t the right choice.

oh someone asked about baby blanket patterns i’m considering 2 hard and 3-4 because i like them, but probably don’t have time for them.

the ones i really like are the ‘Speed Hook Baby Blanket‘ from lion brand.  the pictures on the link are less than great, but i’ve see pictures that make the pattern look amazing. i really plan on doing this one i think.  it looks good, should be fast and i think it’d be fun to make.  the other is this ‘Ragged Squares Quit‘ from Crazy Mom Quilts.  i can so so that’s not a problem for me.  also if you’re just looking for amazing quilts or good tutorials she’s got them.  i see today she’s put up another tutorial for a baby blanket.  she’s just amazing. i wish i could be so productive.

the ones i want to make but don’t have time is Hemlock Ring from Brooklyn Tweed it looks great but the amount of detail is too much to do in a short time for me at least.  the other is the pinwheel blanket.  i know i’m a fast-ish knitter, but i want to enjoy making this blanket.  i don’t want to become resentful or spiteful towards it.  so both these blankets are probably out.  oh well, i’ll get to them some day.  right?

ok now, well i’m off to the rest of my day.  only 0830 and all ready i’ve done laundry, taken photos of my kniting, knit on a hat, and written  a blog post.  go me!  ok.  i’m off

maybe i need to get out more.

•Saturday, 7 February, 2009 • 1 Comment

so last night i had this really wierd dream that i was putting on some theatre show that also involved mad, crazy publicity.  whatever it was i was in charge of making sure that we went though everything and sealed up the plastic items after everyone was done messing around with them so they still held their shape and could inflate when necessary.  (these were mostly things like windows, boats, giant sea monsters, etc.)  this was hard to do in the wind, on a bridge 200 or so feet in the air.  moreover, people (actors and other techies) spent most of their time watching me work and taking the piss out of me.  not because i was doing something wrong, but becasue it was my job to fix it.  and because the director was dumb enough to want life size (i.e. freaking huge) knitted replicas of the loch ness monster, jaws, any other sea creature you can make into a 50′ tall terror.

i wonder about myself some times.

on a totally seperate and unrelated note i’ve been having trouble sleeping lately so i decide i should take an ambien last night.  i had the impression that ambien put you out like a light something like anesthesia where you start counting back from 100 and by the time you get to 95 you’re out like a light.  i took it and laid down to read as is my normal bedtime habit.  i didn’t really feel tired at all so about an hour later i put down my book and went to sleep.  on the good side i didn’t wake up unitl 830 this morning so it seems to have done it’s job.  yea.

last week was a bit rough at work.  nothing completely imploded, but the sound system and various cds had some issues working at the right times.  thursday we had a ball/gala for work.  my only job for this thing was to make this slide show play when they said ‘now direct your attention to the 4 screen around the room’ and the live band was supposed to play.  They said that, the slide show started playing, the band started playing.  after about 9:25 the band stopped playing.  at 10 minutes the slide show stopped. (good thing it was made, by someone else, to be 10 minutes exactly) then they got on the mic again and said ‘well, it’s been a long week for a;lksdfj (a;lksdjf being my awesome alies for me)’  i hate my job.  (well, not really, but it’s incredibly frustrating at times)

to make matters better we have a ceremony next week.  a huge one.  we wer scheduled to do a full dress on tuesday morning and the real one is curtain up at 1000.  found out last night from the band that was supposed to play for us, that they can’t make our dress because someone else’s curtains up is at the same time.  they didn’t mention, but it’s also ture, that it’s supposed to be in the same place as our dress.  this is a problem.   i mentioned this issue to my boss and he said ‘oh.’  glad we found this out on a late friday afternoon.  nothing’s going to get accomplished.  awesome.

back to the knitting front:

1. i’m lucky enough to test knit the chile ristra socks.  the pattern (Ravelry) is lovely and i’m incredibly honoured to be allowed to test knit these socks.  the cuff is this brillant chevron pattern and when i’m done posting today, i’m going right back and working into the leg.  hopefully i’ll get to the heel tonight.  i’m all ready impressed with the logic used to create this sock.  the designer (Grace Anna) definately rocks the house.

also in my time off blogging i made a few baby hats:

from up left and around clockwise they are: Elfin, Victorian Baby Bonnet, Propeller, and the old stand by the Umbilical Cord Hat.

i need more too, people are having kids at an amazing rate.  also, my best friend got his wife pregnate.  i could never let that poor kid go though life with nothing hand knit or sewen so it’s just gonna get worse.  i apologise in advance.

ok. i’m off for now.  i’m definately getting in the hang of things now with posting so it should become regular-ish soon.  yea!

photos! yea!

•Monday, 2 February, 2009 • Leave a Comment

so….yeah i uploaded some photos.

first off we had an ice storm here.  it was no where near the storms i’m used to in iowa, chicago, or germany, but apparently for the area it was _terrible_.  not only did i get to start work late 2 days in a row, but i got several weather warnings about ‘heave snow.’  to let you know how heavy this snow was here’s this.  ‘heavy snow expected, up to 2″ in 12 hours.’  you tell me heavy snow and i expect 2′ in 24 hours.  not this piddly stuff.  on the down side, no one told me there were weather delays until i was at work so i didn’t really get time off.  (and does that tell you how not bad the roads were? i drove to work with absolutely no issues or concerns.)

the trees did have a few problems though.  they’re not used to the extra weight.  they managed up uproot themselves and loose lots of boughs.  it looks like someone went by and trimmed all the trees, but was too lazy to pick up what they cut off.  heres a few pics.

i did visist chicago over the holidays.  i miss the place bad.  it’s wierd going to places i used to frequent and now feel like a tourist.  i miss feeling like i belong in the city.  i don’t like being a visitor.  however, i did get to have the boy drive me around so i got to take a few photos of the iconic chicago.  sadly the photos i love to take of places i can’t right now.  i need to feel like i belong and then take photos that i guess express my wonder at the little things i notice about the place i feel comfortable in.  but i need to feel like i belong and fit in to a place before i can take photos i like.  so for now, you just get junky pictures that don’t quite express what i need to about a place i love so much.

i also made homemade marshmallows for several relatives for christmas gifts.  i should have taken pictures, but alas, i forgot.  they turned out quite well though and were far easier than i thought they would be.  i did get a new kitchen aid mixer though.  thanks to the boy being quite chivalrous and probably getting frostbite on his fingers.  perhaps i shouldn’t have wanted to go shopping on michigan avenue when the temperature without windchill was negative 2. but he was amazing and carried if for me quite a long way in the cold.  i love that boy.  he also got a crock pot where we cooked all sorts of things.  it was fun and i like cooking.

i started knitting a scarf for a friend.   he’s a guy, but i figure the pattern’s a pretty manly pattern.  i showed it to him a few weeks ago and he loved it so i ‘m pleased.  he has 1 incredibly large dog and i think 4 cats at last count. (he just got a new one) so any cat hair i get on it here or in chicago is totally un-noticeable and ok.  yea!  the yarn in bamboo spun i think and is incredibly soft.  i didn’t think it would hold the cables too well, but it does far better than i thought it would.  i think if the cables were more intricate there would be more problems, but these large traveling stitches work perfectly.

i also hooked up (or more accurately will hook up) my boy with  a knitted heart for valentine’s day.  it knitted up incredibly fast so it was a fun knit.  i wanted a good variegated yarn, but hobby lobby was not helping out in that department.  i found this colour and a bright red.  initially i was going to use a second colour as suggested, but looking at the other finished hearts, i decided i didn’t like the look of the harsh colour change.  i wanted something softer.  so i went with all one colour.  a few things i should have done.  i should have stuffed it as i knit it rather than knitting most of it then realizing i needed to stuff it before i finished it.  i also would have stuffed the bottom part of the heart fuller.  i think the boy will like it because it’s pretty stupid and he’s way into studying his anatomy so it should fit into that niche quite well.  the yarn, hobby lobby i love this cotton, is incredibly soft.  i absolutely love it.  i plan to get more and make some baby hats out of it.  thank god for it being washable.  i can’t give new parents gifts that require hand washing.  it makes me feel too guilty and generally just seems like a terrible idea.  so yea for cotton and yea for acrylic.

if anyone cares i did not watch the super bowl.  i’m a girl and i pretty much live by myself.  receiving no social invites i stayed at home.  i watched the food network and cake decorating.  i finished socks.  i ripped out all sorts of things.  i re-knit them to the point they were before the knitting.  yeah, i have no life.  but i’m sure i’ll get made fun of for it more when i go in to work.  so don’t bug me about it.

now off i go.  i got the finishing bug and the self pity bug.  so i finish things, but feel bad about it.  who knows what’s up with my brain.  but i have more old fo’s to show people so i should post again soon.  i need to get back into the habit.

resolutions

•Monday, 26 January, 2009 • Leave a Comment

so i tried to make a resolution that i’d post on time and often and so much more.  apparently i’m only kinda following though on it.  i think of things all the time and that it’d be a great thing to post on my blog.  but then i never do.  i’m either tired, or lazy, or trying to spend time with the boy.

this last month we actually lived together for almost a month straight.  that’s the longest time we’ve been together since august of 2007.  and now we’re apart again and as far as i can tell, we’re not going to be toghether any time soon.  so chalk that up to disappointment.

on the plus side for both you readers and my crafty obsession, i’ve had a fair amount of alone time so i’ve knitted.  a lot.  it’s almost rather scary.  however since ravelry decided we can upload pictures from our computers directly i’ve been terrible on actually uploading my pictures of photobucket or flicker.  i need to work on that.

ok.  so the pictures i need aren’t on this computer.  perhaps this will have to wait even longer.  until then…..